6:38 PM
if its ur own fault, i guess being speechless is something very common.
but how about it happens when you have no idea what is going on?
i've felt speechless before. i've been helpless before. i've been hurt before.
but i do not expect the earth to stop spinning because i am unhappy. i do not expect the world to stop at their tracks to pacify me when i am unhappy. i do not expect everyone to humour me when i am unhappy. i do not expect my friends to be unhappy as well if i am unhappy.
of coz, i would very much want my boyfriend to be the one pacifying me, humouring me. but i will not expect him to drop everything he's doing and just pacify me. this might be sweet, but i dont think its right.
i try to give my very best to my friends, to my boyfriend, to my family. i am a very small person, there is a limit of how much i can render. there is only this much, this much that i am able to give.
when friends expect from me, i try to satisy them.
but when it exceeds the level of what i can provide, theres really nothing much that i can do.
we are all humans. we are not able to predict the future.
we will not know what is going on if no one takes the initiative to notify us.
its just like if i didnt tell anyone i am sick, who will know i am sick?
will it be right of me to start accusing my friends that they do not care about me as they did not even bother to ask how am i, when they dont even know i am sick?
does that mean my friends dont care about me?
does that mean my friends cant enjoy themselves?
does that mean my friends are not good friends?
does that mean my friends dont treasure the friendship?
my gf felt hurt as she thinks we dont care about her, because we didnt call/sms her.
my gf is disappointed because all we do is to go out and have fun, while she is suffering.
so what is the formula for a friendship?
is it call + sms = concern = good friend
or is it the understanding between the parties + enjoyment of each other = good friend
or meet up regularly + opportunities to whine/gossip = good friend
so does it mean that if u dun call each other up = u dun care for the person?
i used to only catch up with some of my friends several times a year - that is new year, and birthdays. does it mean that we dun care about each other?
we seldom call each other up, does it mean we dun treat each other as friends?
is it fair to be judged this way by your gf?
does it hurt to be labelled as not caring for your gf when in actual fact u tried to be there for her as much as u can?
do i not care for her, when i tried to give her advice when she's facing issues.
do i not care for her, when i answered her phone calls in the wee hours of the morning, despite the fact that i am sleeping, and is working the next morning.
do i not care for her, when i wait for her to be ready to open up, as she do not like to be pressurized.
we understand that our gf requires a lot of attention, she has no one to turn to. that is why we always try to give her as much attention as we can. but there is only so much we can give.
thus, we do not complain when she calls us and expects us to listen to her troubles, be it in the middle of the night, or halfway through a busy working day.
however when we tried to follow up with her several hours, or a day or so later, she ignored us.
but now, it has become us who do not care about her.
it is now us who cannot ignore her, while she can ignore us when she likes it.
are our past efforts being appreciated or recognized?
no i dont think so.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home