5:36 PM
work is quite ok, the people there are nice, and i quite like the environment there. some minor conflicts with other people but i guess this is rather normal. was quite frustrated at times, but knowing me, the frustration went away as quickly as it came.
perhaps most of u might realised that i dun stay angry for a long time, unless im really really very pissed. all it takes is to have someone to listen to me ranting and complaining, i'll be fine after that.
of coz when i got reminded or have to repeat the incident, it might make my blood boil again. but as usual, i will be fine after the second bout of rantings and complaints.
been tackled with some tricky questions from jayce on friday while we were having lunch.
lets see if i can recap our conversation.
she started off by saying sometimes i am too straightforward, and not everyone will appreciate that.
like for example, that morning, i accompanied one of the colleague for breakfast downstairs. when we came up, jayce took me to our storeroom n said, "its ok to go down for breakfast. even cecilia (my manager) do that everyday. but at least she will wait till i am in then she will go for breakfast. otherwise, there will be no one to answer the helpdesk hotline."
so i said, "oh ok. i get it."
then she continued, "i thought the both of u just went to toilet or something, so i figured both of u will be back soon. but in the end, i also went to the toilet to ps. when im back, both of u are not back yet! it's not that we dun allow you to go for breakfast. but if there's no one to answer the helpdesk line for a long time, other people might start talking."
so again i replied, ok i understand.
so we both stayed quiet for awhile until she gave the intention of going out of the storeroom.
so without thinking much, i said, "oh thats all ah?"
then she gave me those look and said, "of coz lah. the purpose of asking u in to the storeroom is to tell u this privately. u can't expect me to say this kind of things infront of others right."
then i explained, "oh, no, i dun mean it that way. what i meant was i thought that you also wanted to teach or show me some things thats why u brought me to the storeroom first."
obviously she dun take it that way.
so during lunch, she mentioned about this and say something like, not everyone like people to be so straightforward like when people ask you about things, then u just say, neh its here lor, or whatever sort of things. it makes people feel that they are stupid. so try to think twice first before you speak.
fine, i understand that sometimes i am too straightforward, and some people are quite offended by that.
then she added that, one of the reason she shortlisted me is because she is able to see what i am. meaning, there are some other candidates that she interviewed and they show her someone else instead of themselves. however for me, she see me as what i am, not trying to be somebody else, not trying to be fake. and the other reason is that i am straightforward.
of coz the first thing that came into my mind was that, u like me for being straightforward, but now u want me to be less straightforward. so what should i do?
i was quite frustrated. still, i understand where she is coming from, and i know that most people are just wearing masks when they interact with others.
i will learn to be more diplomatic.
then came the funny questions.
jayce: so, how are u coping with the job? do u like it?
me: ok lor
jayce: what do u mean by ok lor? like means like, dun like means dun like.
me: hmm.. just ok lor.
jayce: then if we want to extend ur contract or to convert u, what do u think?
me: ok ah, i dun mind.
jayce: what? dun mind?
me: yar, im willing to go further
jayce: wah, u sound as if we are begging you to stay n u r willing to n dun mind.
me: thats not what i meant
jayce: but thats what u said. u make it sound like it's only a job and u can do with or without it.
me: of coz if symantec wants to extend or convert me, i will be happy to have the chance.
jayce: this is not the answer i am looking for.
me: then what kind of answer are you looking for? i din say i dun like the job, nor did i say i like the job. it is really ok to me, and i dun mean anything else
jayce: ok, i still think that u dun like your job.
me: (quite frustrated) again, i din say anything about not liking it. if i say i like it very much, u probably think that im fake, and you will ask why i like and if i cant tell u why, its not going to get us anywhere.
jayce: alright, now i can see that u dun like your job.
me: i already said that theres nothing about liking or disliking. its the fact that i really feel ok about the job and if theres a chance to carry on working, i'll love that. but if thats not what u see from what i said, then i got nothing to say.
both of us stayed quiet for awhile then we changed the topic.
what occurs in my mind was that, not everyone have the opportunity to like what their job can offer them. probably 1 in 10 will really like their job. every job got their pros n cons. i havent think of this "like your job anot" question. to me, now is a learning process and it is not right for me to make judgement of liking or disliking. afterall, i am new to hr and im not sure what to expect. since im not sure what to expect, and i got no other relevant experience, how to know whether is this a job to my liking anot? there must be another relevant experience to be able to make comparison.
i'll admit, maybe i am too blunt and straightforward. but what's the point of beating around the bush?
anyway, i asked her, so how about u? do you like what u were doing last time? (that is, my this current job scope) and she replied, i like the job, but i want to do more.
so obviously, this is the answer she is looking for.
tsk.
the next thing i thought of is that, she is really very deep. so i better be careful of what i say n all.
what a day. :\
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