2:50 AM
was about to start writing for rsm, and i was flipping those bookes, trying to find answers.. i really duno what to write, what the questions are asking..
i was feeling so damn helpless..
of coz i got myself to blame for not preparing earlier, oh well, its too late for regrets now.
anyway, i was really confused. halfway through the flipping, i just cry - i was feeling so damn helpless.
i think dear was pretty shocked.. i hugged him suddenly n just break down n cry.
dear was asking, what happen?
i just said i feel very stressed n i really duno what to do.
he was planning to go malaysia with roy n guys, i didnt want to go because i was really behind with my notes..
upon seeing me cry so badly, he took tissues n wipe my tears, asking me to follow them to malaysia, take a break n relax. with that, he attempted to close my books n stuff.
though i really feel like going out, escaping from my stressful room.. but of coz, i didnt lah..
after dear left, i released my emotions.
after crying hard for several moments, i packed all my unstable emotions n go back to writing my notes.
dear called n sms several times to make sure i am ok, asking me to rest earlier and stop stressing myself.
once again, i felt loved.
sometimes its just these little things that will touched a girl. there is no need for any fanciful surprises or whatsoever.
poor dear. he is always the one to tolerate my temper n emotions. who else can i be so open to? i can only be the real me infront of him. there is no need for me to put up my strong front, coz i know no matter what, he will still be there for me.. i have no one to turn to anyway, besides him. i really duno how did i manage before i know him, i also cannot imagine what will be my future like without him in the picture.
sounds mushy, i know. it is so unlike me to be so vulnerable. not that i am really very strong, but i've always refused to show my weakness to others. of coz, not many ppl really understand me. they see me as someone very blissful, happy go lucky, very protective n defensive. no one probably understand why i am always so aggressive in certain manner. somehow, no one will probably believe that i am someone sensitive, i need lots of care n concern, n i need to rely on someone.
ah well, i guess im just babbling.
anyway, i've finished writing for gbe, n its so much! i spent 4 days writing it. it consumed so much of my time that i cant write for other modules before i finished it. so i decided not to continue writing for ibs, will just study from the book. tml will continue writing for rsm, was stuck at 1 of the question.. n also start writing for cibm..
i dun think i want to further my studies again. i am one person who cannot handle stress, this has been proven again n again, when time n time i broke down due to exam stress.
ok. time to sleep.. waking up earlier tml n continue writing.
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