3:30 PM
been in pensive mood lately.. dear couldnt keep me company due to work committments.. of coz i understand, but i just cant help to feel that im really being isolated n neglected.
i came to realise that i dun have that many of friends.. no one asks me out, no one thinks of me to join their outing/gathering or whatever u call it. unless they need my help, or need something from me, then i will be remembered.
i guess this speaks something about me.. im not popular among friends, im not welcomed by friends.
im not going to go into too detailed, if not some might say im seeking attention or thinks that im complaining n kicking a big fuss over something this small.
maybe i am too sensitive, maybe i think too much.
but at least now i know where i stand in all my friends' hearts.
i wont be surprised if less than 10 would remember my birthday n wish me on the day itself. probably not many would ask me out to celebrate my birthday.
i guess there would be many weekends where i will be left alone at home.
im so envious of those who got many activities every weekends. im envious of those who has got ppl to send n fetch wherever they are. or even friends who drive n lives near them, they can have a free ride home. or even if no car, they can share a cab back or take train together.
many ppl see me as very lazy. yes, i admit i am lazy. but, u guys dun understand. u think i want to be lazy? im living so far east, everyone is like living in the west or north or central. there's no eastsider to share cab, or take train with me.
i dun mind travelling to town alone. but if u r me, u know that after town, they would most probably be going somewhere else, maybe west, or north or wherever. n u know there will be no one to send u back as they are all living in those area. it would be late, so there wont be any trains available, meaning, u have to take cab back, but no one will be sharing with u, would u still want to go?
i guess no one understands.. its ok.. just treat it as im lazy.
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